Thoughts from Chickadee

 I don't have particularly fond memories of high school.  Due to a combination of poor socialization in middle school (which is the natural result of being in classes with the same people since kindergarten- you never have to learn how to meet new people), emerging mental health issues, and more of an interest in books than the day to day dramas of high school, I never fit in as well as I felt my peers did. Looking back, other people probably felt the same, but they hid it well enough at the time that I never would have known.  As a result, I didn't date much in high school. I usually stuck to a close-knit group, and inter-group dating wasn't something that happened often. Even if I hadn't been awkward and weird, dating options wouldn't have been too plentiful. Now, let's fast forward ten years to when my social skills have improved (thank you, degrees in psychology and counseling and years of performing at open mics) and I am once again less than a hour from my...

It's been a while since I last fell in love, and so I thought a reminder of what it feels like might be good for me as I continue to go out on first dates and try to find love again. A list of things love feels like: The song Golden Lady by Stevie Wonder  Morning on the shore of Lake Superior in late September Waking up from a nap and finding one of my cats has curled up next to me while I slept The final dance in the movie Dirty Dancing The poem Always by Lang Leav: The first taste of strawberry ice cream on a hot day Someone remembering your order at your favorite restaurant   What does love feel like to you? Leave a comment!

 One of my favorite ways to spend an empty Saturday or weekday evening is to fire up The Sims 3 on my laptop and fill a few hours with creating variations of myself, friends, and fictional characters. Usually my goal is just to let the Sims live happy little lives with lavish houses, interesting careers, and fun side-gigs like jockeying, playing guitar in parks, or scuba diving for treasure. Sometimes I mix it up and decide to see how disastrous I can make the Sim. Either way, I tend to have certain trends in how I make the characters. Whenever I make my Sim, I always use some combination of the same seven traits: Usually the lifetime goal of my Sim is to become a five star chef or be best friends with 20 cats or become a bestselling author (all of which are pretty darn close to things I would strive for in reality). Sometimes I just focus on achieving those goals for my Sim, but other times I will add in a family for them or a relationship to pursue. Recently while creating anothe...

 This week I couldn't stop thinking about how similar dating feels to the job interview process.   Let's say a dating profile is a resume. You want to include just enough information to be interesting, but not so much that the person reading gets overwhelmed. There can't be one word answers to prompts, since that just doesn't go enough into detail. You should never include why past roles (or relationships, in this case) ended, as that right off the bat tells the person reading where you tend to screw up. Hitting "like" or responding to someone's dating profile is just like submitting an application to an open job. Every time you apply, you have no idea how many other people are up for the same role, or how they may be more qualified to be that person's partner. Even if you match on the dating app, maybe they aren't actively looking to fill that space in their life or already have someone else far enough into the dating process that they aren't ...