Needs Change - And That's Okay

For years, I thought yoga was my type of exercise. It was low impact, soothing, and something that allowed me to check in with my body and mind. I would do it on and off throughout my early 20s when I felt I needed to be more active. Recently, I decided I wanted to actually exercise regularly again and lose some of the weight I gained during the pandemic when I was sitting in a home office all day. To my surprise, I could NOT motivate myself to do yoga. Even when scrolling through my favorite yoga YouTube channel, none of the videos looked fun or interesting. 

On a whim I clicked on a HIIT dance workout video YouTube recommended. By the end of 20 minutes I was drenched in sweat, exhausted, completely out of breath, thinking I probably should have used my inhaler, and exhilarated. I started doing dance workouts every evening, and had an incredible amount of fun even when I struggled to get the steps right (grapevines are hard, okay?). 

I've spent so much time over the last year in my head connecting with my inner core and having that quiet time. I don't need that to be my workout too anymore. Now I want something that makes me move and laugh while I dance along to silly music. 

On the third day of my new workout routine, I had a sudden moment of understanding: What we enjoyed or needed at one point in our lives may not be what we need at a different point, and that is okay. 

This is a lesson I needed. I'm moving out of Texas in six weeks and returning to my home state of Minnesota. Six years ago, I desperately needed to get out of Minnesota in order to give myself the chance to figure out who I was away from the safety blanket of my hometown, siblings, and friends. I had a lot of personal growth to do I don't think I could have done without going somewhere completely new. Now, however, I need to be back. 

I also took some time to think what this lesson might mean for my upcoming dating adventure. What did I formerly need in a partner that just won't work for me now? 

One thing comes immediately to mind: I don't want someone to "complete" me. Over the last six years I have come to understand how strong and independent I can be. I know I am more than capable of handling life as a single woman and I am 100% complete on my own. What I'm looking for now is someone who will complement me. I want someone who is able to make me feel like we're a matched pair of socks. 

The feeling I want to have about a partner
                                                                                  The Feeling I Want to Have About a Partner

I also reaffirmed that casual dating just isn't going to cut it for me anymore. In the past, almost all my dating has been casual. I've gone out with someone a few times, and then let it end as soon as I start to feel bored or like the other person may want something long term. I never was ready to put in the work to make a relationship last (I also wasn't sure I was capable of having someone in my life long term - but that's a topic for another post). Now, however, I'm ready to put in the work and am confident I can do it.

Like my exercise routine, it'll just take some practice, dedication, and breathless laughter.

 

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