Fictional Dates and Real Life Types
Now that it's just four weeks to the day I have marked on my calendar to join Hinge and start dating, I've started spending some time thinking about what kind of person with whom I am looking to have a relationship. As is my habit, I decided to start by going to books, television shows, and movies as a form of research into my own feelings and reactions. I came up with a list of four characters who consistently make me swoon.
1. George Cooper, from the Song of the Lioness book series by Tamora Pierce
Song of the Lioness is the book series that arguably had the most influence as I grew up. I read it for the first time when I was around 8 or 9, and have reread it almost every year since. As a child, I loved the adventure and action and the story of a woman going against society's expectations to become the first female knight in her country. As a young adult, I found the heroine's struggle to hold all the different sides of her identity (woman, warrior, and sorceress) to be all too relatable.
I've also found the older I get, the more I agree with the heroine's choice of endgame partner. George Cooper loves and supports her basically from the moment they meet in the first book. He is frequently the only person who can make her laugh. He also recognizes and understands when she needs space to go off on an adventure and figure herself out without him. When she returns to him, he's as completely in love with her as ever, and that is what shaped all my childhood ideas of true love and romance.
2. Korra, from the television show Avatar: the Legend of Korra
Look, Korra is my dream woman. She is tough, unapologetic, a little impulsive, kind, very muscular, and would do anything for the people she loves. Her character development over the course of the show is fantastic and takes her from out of control teenager who thinks she's invincible to thoughtful woman who understands how to adjust weaknesses into strengths.
My favorite swoon-worthy Korra moments: season one when she promises justice for people being wrongly imprisoned; season two when she realizes her spiritual power; all of season three; and the season four finale when she offers mercy to her enemy.
3. Rory Williams, from series five through seven of the television show Doctor Who
Do you want a man who loves his wife so much he is willing to wait 1000 years outside a box to protect her? Do you want a man who loves his wife so much he is willing to tear time apart on several occasions just to be with her? Do you want a man who's first instinct is to offer compassion and who only resorts to aggression if his family is in physical danger?
If you said yes to these questions, you want Rory Williams. You can get in line behind me.
4. Ginny Weasley, from the Harry Potter book series by J.K. Rowling
For years I thought I wanted to be Ginny Weasley: like me, she was the youngest sibling in a big family, and I admired how she differentiated herself from her siblings while still easily fitting in the family at large. She was athletic and popular and managed to marry her celebrity crush. Then I realized I'm queer, and I realized I didn't just want to get coffee with her - I wanted to go on dates with her.
In the books, Ginny is witty and smart and tough. She is the life of the party and goes on to have fantastic careers in athletics and journalism. She doesn't put up with BS. She is bold, brave, and consistently stands up for what is right. Ginny is unapologetic about who she is, and that is attractive.
After looking more closely at these characters, I had two major takeaways with regards to the type of person I would like to find and with whom I would like to be involved.
1. I want them to be tough, active, and authentic with a great sense of humor.
2. I want them to be head-over-heels for me and loyal to a fault.
I should be able to get a sense of people's personalities through their profiles and conversations on the dating app before meeting them, so I feel fairly confident I can find people who are tough, active, authentic, and have good senses of humor. My second takeaway, however, is going to require patience and time. Since patience isn't something I am known for, I'll need to work on it so I will be able to give relationships and feelings the time necessary to grow and develop into the kind of steady long-term commitment I'm hoping to find.
Good thing I have a month to work on my patience!
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