Thoughts from Chickadee

 Last weekend I flew out to Maryland to attend the wedding of a friend from grad school. It was a simple and beautiful ceremony followed by a very fun evening of dancing, bonfires, and getting to know her other friends. I went alone to the wedding and was the only of our friend group from grad school who was able to make it, but didn't have the chance to feel lonely or out of place due to how welcoming her friends were.  It really drove home a point I've been thinking about for a long time: in my life, friendships have been the most influential and important relationships.                                                                                                      ...

When people on Hinge have asked what I'm looking for on the app, I've always broken my answer down into short-term and long-term. Long-term I'm looking for a partner, but short-term I've been looking for a date to go with me to a wedding in November.  The RSVPs for that wedding were due last week, and I decided to go alone. Not only did this simplify the issue of needed to find someone (date or friend) with a free evening for the wedding who wouldn't mind being alone for part of the evening as I took care of bridesmaid's duties, but it suddenly removed a ton of pressure I had been feeling. I hadn't realized just how much I was trying to stick to the imaginary timeline I had created for myself (described in last week's post ). Now I feel free to take my time connecting with potential matches.  Without the timing pressure, I also was reminded that I am happy on my own! I like being able to read all day on a weekend without anyone interrupting me, I like ru...

 I underestimated how long it would take for me to find someone I actually would want a relationship with.  I've been on four first dates (two men and two women, for anyone keeping track on a gender Bingo card), and have another two (one man, one woman) scheduled for the next two weeks. They've all had at least a little potential before the date but we just don't click in person. It's frustrating. In the past I've never had a hard time getting to at least a second date, and I don't know what has changed.  Is it that I'm out of practice with dating apps? Am I too picky these days and still subconsciously waiting for the love-at-first-sight lightning strike? Am I giving off not-interested vibes on the dates? Have my dates immediately thought "crazy cat lady" when I mention my three cats and run for the hills? I don't have answers. I realize two months isn't a long time to be on a dating app, and in terms of weeks I've been on the app and ...