Miss Independent

When people on Hinge have asked what I'm looking for on the app, I've always broken my answer down into short-term and long-term. Long-term I'm looking for a partner, but short-term I've been looking for a date to go with me to a wedding in November. 

The RSVPs for that wedding were due last week, and I decided to go alone.

Not only did this simplify the issue of needed to find someone (date or friend) with a free evening for the wedding who wouldn't mind being alone for part of the evening as I took care of bridesmaid's duties, but it suddenly removed a ton of pressure I had been feeling. I hadn't realized just how much I was trying to stick to the imaginary timeline I had created for myself (described in last week's post). Now I feel free to take my time connecting with potential matches. 

Without the timing pressure, I also was reminded that I am happy on my own! I like being able to read all day on a weekend without anyone interrupting me, I like running errands alone, and in pre-pandemic days I enjoyed going to movies alone. Just last month I took a trip up to Lake Superior alone and had the best few days I've had in a long time. I have a wonderful life with or without a romantic partner, and I worry I was starting to lose sight of that because of the self-imposed deadline of my friend's wedding. 

                                                                            One of the pictures of Lake Superior I took during my recent trip
 

I am still on the app (my subscription lasts until the end of January), and a partner is still something I want. However, I want to put just as much effort into the other things I want in my life. Recently I spent an evening in deep thought about my current life and what feels like its missing and what in it is just not quite right for me. I've decided on two additional goals I will be focusing on moving forward:

  1. Deciding what I want for the next five to ten years for my career
  2. Actually finishing one of the various novels I have started writing in the last few years. 

 These goals are very personal to me, and will help me to continue to develop into the person I want to be and can be; with or without someone else.

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